Chapter 1: Ignorance is Bliss

I was born on the 22^nd day of February, in the year 1996, I was born in northern California on a military based in Novato county. During my stay in California I lived in 5 separate locations. The most memorable of these homes would be the final one which was situated in San Diego only a short two hour drive down the coast from Disney land. My parents had just had their 4^th child my baby sister when we first moved to California. I also have two older siblings who were both born in Virginia. In all there are 4 children and we are all within 5 years in age of each other. Some of the best memories I have of growing up in California were the ones I spent with my paternal grandmother. My grandmother lived in Redding California so I got to see her about once to twice a month up until we moved to the east coast. Living in California as a 0-5 year old, I don’t have a whole lot of memories just feelings of being happy and safe. I had no cares in the world. When my grandmother would come and visit we would make peanut butter and jelly Ritz cracker sandwiches. Whenever I was sad she was always had a spot on her shoulder for me. The last house we lived in had a myriad of wildlife. Under one china cabinet in our house there seemed to be this never ending line of mice and no matter how hard we tried they kept coming back. There were always lizards crawling around the outside of the house. My brother and I when we still got a long would try and catch the lizards, but the lizards always seemed to be half a second faster. On the dangerous side black widows an extremely deadly spider that populates most of California would occasionally be found on a wall outside. So my dad would quickly get his big boots and SMASH! The spider was dead. Deer would constantly frolic through our backyard and would stop sometimes to eat the grass. One time my dad showed me how to pet a dear and taught me a lot about patience. Because he knew if I tried to move too quick the deer would scatter. But if I could remain calm and be patient eventually the deer would come to me. I can remember how soft under there chin was. I was a little worried when I touched its nose and it was wet and I asked my dad “daddy do think she’s sick, maybe we should get her a tissue”. My dad explained to me how most mammals have wet noses and it actually means they are healthy which made me very happy to know she wasn’t sick. My favorite movie growing up was Disney’s animated version of Tarzan, to this day it still remains my favorite animated movie. I can remember watching this, at the time scary movie called “Dark Crystal” which scared the crap out of me. For about three months I made my brother switch bunks with me because I had the bottom bunk and was scared that one of the monsters would come out and grab me under. I wasn’t always the most honest kid growing up, if I broke something I would blame it on a sibling. I used to spit my vegetables and vitamins in my drink cup so I wouldn’t have to take them. Sometime this worked and I got away with it other times I got to eat Kool Aid soaked asparagus. I remember one Easter when I was around 4 we went to this church event and being the kind of kid that likes to do his own thing I wandered off. I ended up collecting more candy than all of my siblings and was even interviewed by a lady who gave me a giant chocolate bunny. When my parents finally found me, they were not happy to say the least so they took away my giant chocolate bunny and hid it. By around this age I had become pretty well versed in the art of finding things my parents had hid of mine. My parents caught me just as I was about to take my second bite out of the delicious chocolate bunny ear. I was grounded for a week. Which back than meant no TV or Game-boy for a week. I was always very outgoing and curious as a young child, I loved to climb trees as high as I could so as to touch the sky. I loved animals a lot as a kid and I do still now. But as a kid my curiosity sometimes went a bit far. One day when I was out with my older brother and older sister we came across a Chihuahua, my siblings warned me not to pet the puppy so badly and it’s really hard to un-convince a 4-5 year old when he really wants something. So I went to pet the small dog and instead of feeling its soft fur, I got to feel its sharp teeth in my hand. To this day I still do not like tiny dogs. My happiest memory would have to be my fifth birthday party. I had around twenty or so of my friends over. As I mentioned earlier Tarzan was and still is a favorite of mine and was also the theme of my birthday party. My parents even splurged to get a Tarzan themed moon bounce and a Tarzan chocolate cake that was green with white trim a small figurine of Tarzan as a kid. From that day on chocolate cake has been my favorite flavor of cake and has stood the test of time…….so far at least. Growing up in California I never had any bad memories only good memories, I had feelings of hope and grandeur, and that there was no limit to what I could do as long as I put my mind to it. I was ignorant, I was in utter bliss, I was happy, and those years were the last that I could genuinely say I was blissfully happy. We moved to Maryland in the summer of 2001. I was distraught having to have to leave all of my friends in California, I was saddened by the distance that now stretched between me and my paternal grandmother. For the first 6 months we lived with my mother’s parents on capitol hill in Washington DC, while our house in silver spring Maryland was being built. The house that my mother’s parents owned could be described as a museum or as a place that bored children to tears. As you walked in there were artifacts from all around the world, from oriental rugs, to antique furniture, they even had a zebra pelt which is now currently in my bedroom. They had a three floor walk-up with a yard and patio space. All 4 siblings shared a room on the top floor that was maybe 12 by 10 feet, there were twin beds in the room I shared a bed with my brother and my sisters had their bed. I remember playing a game where we would hop from one bed to the other because the floor was lava and you “died” if you touched the floor. Our parents would always get mad at us because we would make so much noise. This was definitely not a house for kids. My mother’s mother made us take etiquette classes while we lived with them. Because if we were going to live there we had to behave like persons that would live in a museum’esque house and not like children. Two months after our house had been completed and we were living there I remember a very specific morning. My mother came in with tears rolling down her face. She told us that her parents had been killed whilst driving back from a mission trip in Honduras. I remember her telling me this and this was the first time I had experienced internal conflict. I did not cry when my mother told me that her parents had died, for I never really had any kind of relationship with them. Yes, they were my grandparents but only by blood there was no emotion in either relationship with her father or mother that I had experienced. At a later age it was told to me that my maternal grandfather didn’t enjoy small children or babies. So he never felt the need to take an interest in me while I was living at their house. My maternal grandmother had an amazing relationship with my little sister and I am so grateful that she got to experience her before they both died. My memories of my maternal grandmother don’t go past a picture that we have hanging in our house of me kissing her on cheek. After that fateful day my life would be changed forever.